Thursday, August 17, 2017

We didn't Deserve to Have it End this Way

Did you ever have a girlfriend dump you on Facebook? I have. Sadface emoji. Well, she was an ex.girlfriend and she dumped me long ago. And she didn't technically dump me. She quit communicating with me until I finally got the clue. But the other day I noticed she unfriended me on Facebook.

I'll be honest. It saddens me a little bit. We have so much in common but to remove me from the website that people to seriously makes me shake my head in bewilderment. I should have listened to my initial instinct and stayed away from her- she's the kind of girl who only deals with temporary lust and hasn't matured enough emotionally and psychologically to be able to understand the depth and grace of commitment.

But what do I expect? I'm not much of a go getter. I'm more of a stop and observe what you're doing. I could see how girls would hate that. Bullshit is the mating call of the young of mind and the young of heart. There are marriages built on nothing but winning a girl over the heart of a man, usually by a boy.

Boys like to fight and play rough with both sexes equally and different but in erotically similar ways- which is why we have sports like Wrestling, Gymnastics. and foreplay. Men are strong of body and of mind. A man carries an inner power but also a grace. A man is both firm and flexible. A man has dignity, loyalty, integrity and a sense of justice and moral balance

 And women and ladies are already taken for. They can do better financially if they marry out of anything but love.

It's going to be hard finding someone who wants to grow instead of mope around and feel sorry for themselves. Which is a mean way of saying anyone who doesn't agree with .how I conduct my business? We can all agree on thing. Life hasn't turned out for anyone the way we wanted it. With the exception of a few.  And even they got gotta go outside and deal with erosion, death, and traffic delays.

Make the best out of life. I read I write, I create, I dream, I work and I work. I also play drums. You know, do that but only different. Or at least try something or some things new and see where it takes you.

Life is good.

I get to pour my thoughts out, both the vulgar and the sublime, to the Google Censorship committee who then decides what is and isn't funny. But for those rare few who fall upon my website, either net surfers or government officials search the internet for anything that would undermine their power and influence, I mean anything dangerous to public opinion.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Is it a Weakness to Tell other People your Business?

My answer is this: Yes, unless you're independently wealthy or you just don't care. Me. I usually just don't care. I often have to refrain from being way too honest. I've almost given away my social security number on Facebook just because it makes me feel liberated.

Some people don't like it because they'd rather live in their little bubble of self-protection. I call these people turtles. Some people don't need to know your business because they'll use it against you. I call these people snakes. And some people will think past your past and accept you for who you are becoming and not what level you came from and what you struggled through. I call these people Saints and respect them and in some ways, even want to be like them.

Telling people your business, that is about your life struggles and your personal life is a good way to acquire a sense of freedom because it takes you out of your comfort zone and exposes a part of who you truly are. It provides clarity as you recognize yourself instead of trying to pretend to be someone you're not or even acquiring the habit of hiding you from yourself.

Which is probably where the term comes from. I bet telling people your business is an old term from back at the dawn of the Industrial Revolution when a woman was property along with men, but most importantly black men, and not any of the other races of people who've ever been subjected to slavery, like everyone. People in the past didn't even make a low-end salary. They called it Wage Slavery.

This was back in a time when children were fair game in the factories. It's weird to think about. Nine-year-olds with supervisor positions not afraid to kick your ass while cracking dirty jokes during smoke breaks.

If you lived in that time period and you were a factory owner and like three kids a year died on y and one mangles his hands beyond repair every six months because the equipment is old and you don't care who dies, you throw out the body and replace it with someone fresh.

Are you gonna go around telling everyone your business???

And if you sell something like drugs or children. You probably shouldn't post that on Facebook. Some things are meant to be secret, like take your illegal activities and your childhood perversions. It's best that some things are left unsaid unless you're a comedian than the filter is pretty much non-existent.

I'm more open with complete strangers. I'm more open with family one on one. But that's what works for me. I usually don't post my business on Facebook because it gives my family the wrong impression of me. But with a complete stranger, it can leave the right imprint. I like that. It sounds sexy.

But anyways, yeah, whatever works for you with how you deal with telling people your personal business. I've met awesome people were both closed and open about their personal lives. It's more important with how you deal with that type of information. we all don't like having that information thrust upon us. But so what. Unless they're trying to make you an accomplice to murder then try giving that person some positive feedback. And maybe in the future, they won't feel it necessary to cry about their life. 

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Bugaboo, a Poem

I'd like to live it
my own way.

live a life
where you
didn't have say.

have my own life
that if don't like it
you can go away.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Ran into that same Co-worker Today

I ran into the same coworker I ripped apart in a post, not in an actual face to face conversation. I can be critical and cynical but I try not to take people down with me.

So she was really nice and sweet on me. She said she couldn't recognize me but that more she thought about it, she did remember me working there awhile back ago.

She asked why I quit.

The reason was:

I volunteered for the Team Lead position for my department during the holiday season, the hardest time of year. I was in the Union, and since I was the only one to sign on for the position, it was my job.

KEY NOTE: I asked several times in the past to move me to a new department but they wouldn't move me... which is against Union bylaws.

So I'm three days into my new position, they haven't officially signed me on. My stress levels are off the charts. It's me and one other person in a position that when I began, had five people.

They moved my team lead, this Snaggle Tooth creep who took a half hour breakfast at the gas station on company time, which is a federal offence by the way, when you add up all the free time she took, oh, but they can't prove that because I don't have a video or photo evidence, and here's the best part, management does, and they use that against you to save their own asses. Like how my team lead used to sabotage my work to make herself look good. And she got the raise, not me.

So it's me, and one other woman trying to get this work done, and the rest of the company is acting like I'm not overloaded and I need to cater to their asses because they are so above me- phhhh- it's a job, it's not like you're Bill Gates, and you started his own company from scratch and became rich and powerful, I doubt even he has that attitude.

But anyway, I ask my supervisor, this dumb fuck weird, do I have the position, and he said no, the position is still available, I'm like what? I snap. I scream at him how this is bullshit. He tells me that if I'm going to talk retarded than I should go home, so I did.

Long story short, I go to a meeting to see if they plan to alleviate this, you know give my job and my raise and leave me to do my job. NOPE. So I quit. And just now, I wrote them a message telling them how quitting my job was the best decision I ever made. Which sounds mean, but it's also constructive, because now that they know that, maybe in their black soulless ego of a heart, they can start changing things around- but I doubt it.

It's probably a good thing I didn't give her a piece of my mind. But my current coworker, a crazy ass roofer in his fifties pointed who can out work me under the table pointed out how sweet she was on me. He said it sounded like she wanted some of this young sausage.

I was like dude, she's got like five or six kids, he was like, so what, you're not fucking the kids. I said it depends on the age.

But I'm happy with the fact that she remembered who I am. That is the only reassurance I need- the ONLY reassurance I need.

I love it when people show me how wrong I am... in a positive way. And I hate it when people show how wrong I am in a negative way, but things turned out all right in this case. Plus my ex-girlfriend gets to hear about how tan and sexy I look right now and I ain't gonna give her none of this juicy stuff- NONE. She's goings to have to live with that fuck up. 

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Ran into an Old Coworker the other day

People have too much pride in what they do. Pride becomes before the fall. Have competence in yourself and in the final product. Pride is competence but for stupid people, it's kinda like over confidence but with a sense of competence. It makes sense to me- shut up.

So I cross paths with a coworker from my last job. She's looking at me like she's so much higher and better than me. Acting like she doesn't even remember who I am. And I'm thinking to myself, you're only as strong as the weakest link in your company and look at the scumbags they hire at that job- enough to fill up a whole Mongol horde. I know- because that's why they hired me in the first place. You think they would have hired some second-hand chump who reads Goethe's Faust for fun? I'm Louie lunch meat, the corporate kickball, surrounded by elite minded fools who turned their day jobs into careers.

I'm making more money now working for a company made up of master craftsmen where I work my way up to a master myself instead of being creeped down by losers who gave their souls to a life they don't even understand themselves.

This woman is living in an apartment complex looking down at me like she's so high and mighty. She works for a company that sells spoiled food to jails. I've seen them do so illegal things like dumping the oily water out of print shop barrels instead of paying the fee to have them professionally cleaned out. But I guess that makes you better than me. What ever makes you feel better at yourself while you mope around at work flirting with your coworkers and feeling sorry for yourself.

All the mean while, I'm working towards something greater than myself. I won't just have to buy a house when I save up enough money. I'll make one my damn self, start a small business and go back to school. I have an opportunity to work my way up to that point. That's something you don't get very often. So I might as well make the most out of it. 

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Misfortune and Shame, Part 7

"What kinda work?" asks Guy. Chom Noamsky rolls his eyes. "I need you to waterproof the whole basement and all around the entire border of the property. Think you can manage that?" asks Chom Noamsky. "How much?" asks Guy still sceptical. "Ten bucks an hour until the jobs done- but no slacking," says Chom Noamsky firm on his price. "I'll do all the labor myself for ten bucks an hour plus six months worth of rent," says Guy confident in himself.

Chom Noamsky's eyes pop out of his sockets like someone smacked him on the backside of the head. "Forget I asked" shouts Chom Noamsky as he storms out of Guy's apartment. "And clean this place up since you're not holding a job right now. Ungrateful kids. I buy this building with my inheritance, give them the opportunity to work for their keep and this is the respect I get! Spoiled American brats, the whole lot of them. I'll go hire me some illegal Mexicans. At least they're willing to do a dirty job for dirt pay!" shouts Chom Noamsky staring deep into his son's soul as he closes the door behind him.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

The Dreams of an American Dreamer

I've only ever had two dreams my whole life.

1. I've always wanted to be a writer. I'm a creative person and has always been my dream to pursue that. But my family- all blue collar dip shits who care more about money than intellectual pursuits have never been all that supportive. And it's not like I woke up one day and was like hey, I want to be a writer. It developed naturally on its own. But let's face it, no one cares about my dreams. Americans hate dreamers. They love celebrities. The people who sell their souls for another dollar. But deep passionate people? They have a good old time making sure those people have a tough time in life. Even my mom would rather see me fall into an abyss if it means I give up on my lifes pursuits and dedicate my life to Jesus. I mean she'll read another version of the Bible before she will one of my jokes.

2. I've always wanted to get married and have children. But let's face it. Americans hate dreamers. They can't stand people who want to grow and make changes. Don't want that to happen. I might rise above the masses and make something of my life. What kind of change for the better does that benefit anyone else? Maybe someday when the world is wiser will I finally am able to pursue the only two things that give my life meaning. Until then, I got to bite the bullet and keep treading along until I stumble upon the inevitable. I don't know what that is but I hope someday I find it and my whole life changed for the better.

And if not, know that I have tried and failed and tried and failed but never gave up on the things that soothe the heart of all the evil I've had to endure to get to where I am. Just know that I love and that I am loved. And that I'm going through a rough period because I an unhealthy obsession with another woman who wants nothing to do with me. God, life can be such a disappointment but I'm also grateful for being alive today, in one of the great social transitions in world history. I hope in the end, it all changes for the better. God bless us all and may God fill our hearts with joy. And just because I don't read the Bible doesn't mean I don't believe in God.